What is abuse?

Abuse, also called battering and domestic violence, can take many forms including:

• verbal abuse, including name calling, swearing and yelling;
• financial abuse, including controlling all the money in the home or refusing you basic needs such as food, clothing or medical attention;
• emotional abuse, such as ongoing put downs, telling you that you are crazy, extreme jealousy or threatening to commit suicide;
• breaking or destroying your possessions;
• stopping you from seeing friends or family, from participating in religious or cultural practices of your choosing, or from engaging in activities outside of the home;
• threats and intimidation, such as saying that he will hurt you, the children, or your family, that he will have you deported or that he will take the children away from you;
• physical harm, such as hitting, pushing, kicking, hair pulling or biting;
• sexual abuse, such as forcing you to have sex;
• harassing or stalking you after you have asked to be left alone;
• any other behaviour that makes you feel afraid of your partner or forces you to be dependent on him.

Abuse happens in all types of relationships, in all cultural and socio-economic groups, and at all ages.

 Most perpetrators of violence and abuse in relationships are male.

It may not be easy to identify abuse. Sometimes women minimize abuse or blame themselves.

Sometime men are very apologetic and kind after they have been violent or abusive.

Abuse is rarely a one-time occurrence.

Unless there is some form of intervention, the violence and abuse generally gets worse over time.

 Violence and abuse often become more intense when a woman decides to leave.

If you are concerned for your safety and well being, there are a number of 24 hour crisis lines listed in the resource section that offer emotional support and information and referrals.